Attitudes

   This will be a short blog but it makes a point I have been mulling over for some time. I am not a big believer in "your attitude is everything" or "positive thinking" or any of those type of new age/self-help slogans. However, I do believe that attitude can be important in certain areas of life.
   One important area is the attitude we as parents have towards the world at large and the various groups and institutions in it. I recently had a client whose was facing some serious drug charges along with 5 co-defendants. All of his co-defendants had been watched by the police for some time and were known meth manufacturers, users, and dealers. By all appearances my client was in the wrong place at the wrong time. All of his co-defendants stated that they barely knew him and that he was not part of the regular group. However, some of them later were willing to testify against him in exchange for leniency. Because his involvement was fairly minimal, the prosecutor offered him a pretty plea deal which he took, rather than risk a lengthy prison sentence.
   As is sometimes the case, my client was on probation in another county for stabbing a guy in the stomach and got a longer prison sentence for that than what he received for the drug charges. My client, who is in his early twenties, had a pretty long juvenile record prior to picking up the adult felonies. That is not so unusual.
   What got me thinking about attitude is the kid's father. I know he loves his son and is worried about him but I suspect that this man's attitude towards everything is part of why his son can't stay out of trouble.
    From the first time I met him, he kept acting like everyone was out to get his son. Everything had a rationalization about how the police were out to get him and how every crime he had committed had some justification. For example, the stabbing that had landed him on probation was justified because the other guy was much bigger. I had to hold me tongue when I really wanted to tell him that he would have done his son a much greater service had he forced him to take responsibility for his actions and his life when he had first starting getting in trouble. Blaming everyone and everything else around him was not going to keep his son from someday serving a lengthy prison sentence. Responsibility would. If this kid's dad had that attitude, then why would the kid every straighten out? He could just do whatever his impulses told him to do and then point the finger at something or some one else?
    It is important that we make sure our children know right from wrong and to take responsibility for their actions. Life is not fair but feeling sorry for yourself won't accomplish anything.

Ryan Maesen
www.westsidelawoffices.com